The Extinction of Wedding Gift Etiquette

So, what is the new rule regarding thank you notes for wedding gifts, or for that matter, any gift? Maybe I am old school, but I am under the assumption that every gift given requires a hand written
note.

It is amazing to me that couples spend months and even years planning for their big day. As soon as the engagement is announced; friends, relatives and acquaintances are inundated with "save the date" announcements, shower invitations, and finally the wedding invitation (they may or may not make the cut for the reception). All of these scream "You have to get me a present!" Every bridal magazine spells out the rules: who pays for what, the time line, and YES thank you notes. The stationary usually is coordinated with the invitations and reply cards. Does the couple just decide up front that they can save some money if they don't buy the thank you notes or do they have boxes of them and just wonder what they are for?

We were invited to a wedding last Spring. I spent quite a bit of time, energy and money picking out something that they would hopefully like, wrapped it and mailed it. Fortunately I paid extra for a delivery confirmation because that is the only way that I know they actually received it. (I had a premonition.) I suggest that everyone that mails gifts be sure to get the confirmation. Otherwise you wonder: Did it get lost in the mail? Do they think I stiffed them on their wedding present? And most importantly you don't have to call to see if they got it thus avoiding the awkwardness of the implication that the happy couple has no manners.

Mailing gifts with confirmation may be the best way to go even if you attend the big event. We went to two wedding a few years ago. For both we brought their gifts to the reception and placed them on the overflowing gift table. Again, no thank you notes...we wondered it someone stole some of the presents. To this day I don't know....